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I was asked recently to examine "why the love of Jesus can't be seen in me." I was told that I didn't inspire this person "at all" and that my life looked like it was in "turmoil." I was told that if a non-christian looked at my life, they wouldn't want what I had. I was told to think hard about all that was said to me.

So I did. I thought, prayed, and meditated about all of this. I've been bothered by some of these questions for the last 3 weeks and have had a lot of time to reflect on my own sin and attitude. And of course, with any deep introspection, I found areas where God wanted me to fix things, but I've also found His grace in it all. I've also had the opportunity to be away from home a while among people who don't know me at all, and the sentiments seemed to be totally the reverse of what my friend told me; that they were encouraged by my generosity to strangers or that I made them feel really relaxed or appreciated. Some told me that they wished they could have the same positive outlook and attitude on life. (Of course, I felt obligated to tell them thatif they knew me better, they might have a different opinion...)

And a couple days ago, I was at Starbucks, and I was kinda just sitting by myself reflecting on all of this and asking God why my friend said he/she can't see His love in my life. I seem to generate 2 reactions- people are either really encouraged or really bothered by me: The kids at my school voted me "Most Encouraging Teacher" on campus, and my friend said the love of Jesus can't even be seen in me. Seems like not only two different reactions, but almost opposite reactions.

As I was thinking about this I totally believe God spoke to me. It was as clear as I've ever heard Him before... so He either spoke to me that day or I've never heard His voice.

I felt like God wispered into my soul and said, "Jesus generated the same 2 reactions. Sometimes when people say they don't see the love of Jesus in you, it's because they don't know what it looks like. Many people didn't see the love of Jesus in Jesus, either. Don't give up, sometimes you'll share in my suffering. I said I came not to bring peace but division. Now you know what that means... Pick up your cross and follow me."

Verse of the Week

"Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day. These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ. Do not let anyone who delights in false humility and the worship of angels disqualify you for the prize. Such a person goes into great detail about what he has seen, and his unspiritual mind puffs him up with idle notions. He has lost connection with the Head, from whom the whole body, supported and held together by its ligaments and sinews, grows as God causes it to grow.

Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules: "Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!"? These are all destined to perish with use, because they are based on human commands and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence."
-Col 2:16-23

Quotes of the Week:

"Those were great days, and great victories were won. We always managed a riot or a revival. Sometimes a riot and no revival, but never a revival without a riot."
William Nicholson

"Christians should be troublemakers, creators of uncertainty, agents of a dimension incompatible with society."
French Theologian Jaques Ellul

“You have enjoyed yourself in Messiahianity long enough. You have had pleasant feelings, pleasant songs, pleasant meetings, pleasant prospects . There has been much of human happiness, much clapping of hands, and much shouting of praises – very much of heaven on earth. Now then, Go to God and tell Him you are prepared as much as necessary to turn your back upon it all, and that you are willing to spend the rest of your days struggling in the midst of perishing multitudes, whatever it may cost you”
Gen. William Booth

Jesus Has Left The Building

I love Jesus. Even just a year ago I would have been ashamed to say it so boldly- not because I was ashamed of Jesus, but I was ashamed of what had been presented to the world as Christianity, as the Church, from so many well-meaning, but I believe misled people. My church experiences in the past did not really permit me to seperate Jesus and his teachings from church and my experience of christianity. We were right, non-believers were wrong. We were righteous, the world was sinful. The Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. We loved Jesus, they loved themselves (or sex or money or whatever...) Sure there's elements of truth to the above, but there's an equal amount of lie when it's spoken (or understood) in a way that plants seeds of pride, waters with our arrogance, and sprouts a modern version of Phariseeism.

And unfortunately, the modern church has cultivated the ground in such a way that promotes growth of exactly that kind of seed. We look at our faith in the Truth, our hope in righteousness, and our love of Jesus as merit for God's favor. People abstain from certain things and see it as righteousness, but it's really just rules taught by men (Mt 15:1-11). And just like the pharisees, the religious people of today are offended when we question the traditions they hold dear (v12-20).

Here's the truth I think more clearly (but admittedly, still through a dark glass):

Jesus is right, we are wrong. Inside the church and out, we are still all incomplete in our knowledge. Jesus is righteous, we are sinful. Inside the church and out, we all allow our broken relationship with God and people to get the better of us all the time. The Holy Spirit is willing, we are weak. Inside the church and out, the Spirit of God calls all of us to the heart of God, but we often fall back on our well-established carnal conventions. Jesus loves us, we love ourselves. Inside the church and out, our pride and self-love often is more easily seen than the righteous law of love that God places in all of us. (Romans 2:13-15)

Please don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying that everything in the modern church is royally screwed up (well, no more than all of us are), nor am I even saying that we shouldn't love the people that are caught up in legalism and a modern version of christianity that has the apperance of wisdom but no real value. As I've already written, I love the Church; and I love the pharisees, too- just like Jesus did. I think the pharisees, for the most part, were really trying hard to just live a totally sold-out life for God and to keep themselves pure. I believe that they also missed the boat and that Jesus really spoke to the core of their issue when he said, "Go and learn what this means... I desire mercy, not sacrifice." (Mt 12:7) I think we all have to often look at Jesus' words to the pharisees and match them up to our lives. We also have to remember that though Jesus loved them and knew their hearts, he pissed them off, too.

Personally, I've come to a place of humility. I've come to a place of repentance. I've come to a place where the lost matter to me more than keeping up apperances or tradition with the church. I have come to a place where I truly believe, as D.T. Niles put it: "Christianity is just one beggar telling another beggar where to find food."

The Pharisees and the Saducees and the teachers of the law meant well. They were trying to live righteous lives that pleased God- Holy lives, set apart from sin. But what they misunderstood is that sin isn't a list of do's and don't's. Righteousness isn't a life free of sinful actions or thoughts. Righteousness is Love, and Love is righteousness (Mt. 22:37-40). They had a form of religion that seemed right to them, but was really a legalism that fueled their pride. They honestly meant well, but they were straining out gnats and swallowing camels. We've all made the same mistake before...

I think the pharisees saw Jesus in turmoil. He flipped the tables, challenged all their religious views on stuff right in the middle of church services, and caused all kinds of confusion about the traditions of the "church." I think the religious people saw Jesus' life as a life nobody would want- always hanging out with sinners and losers of all sorts, whores, theives, even traitors to Israel, God's chosen people. He definately loved the pharisees and even came to the jews first (Ro 1:16), but they got ticked when he questioned their practices and compared them to the scriptures, hinting they didn't line up (Mk 12:12). When he questioned their religious system, they got offended (Lk 11:45) and opposed him. Instead of listening with open ears, they just tried to "catch him in something he might say." (Lk 11:53-54). Eventually, he ticked them off enough they had him tried and executed as a terrorist and heretic.

Sometimes, as followers of Jesus, we may have similar experiences. We might have to follow him into suffering, trials, and tribulations. We might be despised and rejected by the people we love and who are supposed to love us. People who don't understand us, even though they are well-meaning, might question our motives and faith. But we have to keep doing what he's called us to do: Love at all costs, and proclaim the good news. Christianity is not about making friends, it's about making a difference- making disciples. And if you find that friends are opposing who you've been called by God to be, whether it's because they tempt you to sin in your old ways (maybe alcohol, greed, sex, etc...), or if they tempt you to sin in new ways (maybe religion, pride, judging others, etc...), you might have to put a little space in the relationship. If you don't, you may be tempted to fall into those easier paths that lead to destruction. You have to be faithful to what Jesus called you to do. If your friends don't understand it, try to explain it to them. If they get even more upset when you try to explain it, give them space and wait for them to come back and ask for your opinion. Jesus was never pushy- we shouldn't be either.

We may be persecuted by the religious people around us who seem to have it all together, but we should count that as a blessing. Jesus was persecuted by the religious leaders of His day. Martin Luther was persecuted by the church. John Wesley was known to say that if he preached and didn't get kicked out of town, he wondered if he preached the gospel at all (the more I read about Wesley the more I like him...). Sharing in Christ's sufferings is part of the gig. If it's not happening to you, examine your own life and see if you're compromising on the outrageous call of Christ. It's foolishness to man.

I'd like to encourage you as I've been encouraged by good friends and brothers lately to try to be a positive agent of change where you are- but also be prepared to dust off your feet if you're rejected. When God is working in your life in new and exciting ways, it's scary. Sometimes people who you think should understand the most can see it the least. Deitrich Bonhoeffer once said, "The person who loves their dream of community will destroy communty (even if their intentions are ever so earnest), but the person who loves those around him will create community." Create and live in community, reject the elitism of the local club (or the global one).

Please don't be discouraged when the popular/pretty/religious people around you don't get it. If you're living and loving like Jesus, you have to sort of expect they won't understand you. Jesus calls us to turn the social order on it's head. Look at the people around you who you don't want to impress, or who nobody finds impressive- how do the outcasts see you? What do the sinners think of your life? What do the poor and merciful and peacemakers have to say about your character? A collection of like-mimded people isn't community, it's a club.

If someone asks you to examine why they can't see the love of Jesus in your life, consider it carefully. It might be because you're a religious, arrogant, jerk. It might also be because you're right where Jesus wants you- throwing the social/religious status quo inito turmoil with a quiet revolution of love and grace. Most likely, you'll be somewhere in between. But to truly figure out which end of the spectrum you fall closer to, ask yourself this:

"Does my life disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed?" If so, you're probably pointed in the right direction.